Wow!!! Hello Queen!!! Your story is phenomenal and we are honored to have the opportunity to speak with you about it! Tell us a little more about your life as a child and how you overcame your adversities!
I was born and raised in a small town called Port Gibson, Mississippi; the city that’s “TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BURN”. I am the oldest of seven children. I was born to teenage parents. Though I have some great memories from my childhood, it was not always the greatest. As a child, I was molested by people on both sides of my family and this damaged me in many ways. It caused me to act out, struggle with depression, have low-self esteem, no self worth and to become sexually active at a very early age. I was considered the “Black Sheep” of the family. Growing up, the naysayers always said I would never amount to anything. The enemy tried to have his way, but God! I was destined to rise to the top. I knew I had to prove it to myself and my three children that I could be anything I wanted to be and do anything I wanted to do. I AM AN OVERCOMER!
What did the transition look like for you, from being molested to being in an abusive relationship?
They felt the same to me. Both were traumatic experiences I endured from people who claimed they loved me. Although the perpetrators were different, I didn’t deserve it from either party. This left me broken, hurt and confused, asking why me? But as I got older I realized that It happened because I was convenient for my molesters and my abusers. The molestation caused me to accept the abuse in my adulthood for many years. I had little to no self-worth from childhood and because of that I stayed in unhealthy situations longer than I should have.
How did you know it was time to get out or get away from your abusers?
I knew it was time when the intensity and frequency of the physical and verbal abuse was getting worse. The nature of the abuse was happening solely based on lies and manipulation for them to cheat and have control over my actions. I knew it was time, when my children began witnessing the abuse and were old enough to say “Mom what’s wrong, did dad hit you?” I knew it was time when I didn’t see a way out or an end to the physical abuse. It was time for me to move on, although, initially I wanted it to work for the sake of my children. But then I realized, nothing is worth me accepting less than I deserve.
What attracted you to the military and what was that shift like for you?
If someone would’ve told me I was going to join the Army, I wouldn’t have believed them for a second LOL. I never thought about going into the military. I received my General Equivalency Diploma (GED) in the mail and the next day I went to enroll at Hinds Community College. There I met an Army Recruiter. He asked me if I had thought about going to the Army. I smiled and said no, he said come to talk with me at my office. So, I did and that moment changed my life forever.
I took the ASVAB and signed my life away. The greatest attraction is the thought of no longer struggling to take care of my three children. This would also get me away from all the drama and chaos that surrounded my life at the time. I knew I desperately needed to do something different. I needed more exposure and this was my way out.
Whew! The shift for me was both exciting and scary. I was a little country girl who had never really been anywhere or away from my children for an extended period of time. I called home every chance I got because I couldn’t believe I had really left Port Gibson.
What’s some advice you can share with women in abusive environments that are either too fearful or who lack help/support when it comes to escape strategies?
The first thing I would tell other women in abusive environments is that YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH AND YOU ARE SO WORTHY! You deserve better Sis, and greatness awaits you! I would tell them one of the most important things is to NEVER announce to your abuser that you are leaving. There are shelters that will assist you and are ready to help you in your time of need. The best time to leave is when the abuser is not at home. Don’t waste any time getting to safety. Please don’t let your plans be to escape to a person he knows; That will be the first place he looks for you. Be smart and do not go back.
Don’t answer calls or text from your abuser. You don’t need to hear anything from him because you are not strong enough just yet. If possible, take your cell phone, identification and any other important documents. Once you are out of this relationship, please just work on healing.
You can be scared but I need you to listen to me when I say, still leave. Love doesn’t hit you, hurt you, berate you or abuse you. Love is supposed to be beautiful! Don’t be afraid to call the national hotline number 800-799-7233. I pray you’ll be safe and not spend another second with a man who doesn’t honor or value you.
Please tell us more about your experience serving our country! And how did it prepare you for what you’re doing now?
I absolutely loved serving my country! I was stationed in Baumholder, Germany for 3 years. It was definitely different and I was able to learn about their culture and customs. I spent 13 months in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF 08-09). I was able to visit Qatar for two weeks on Rest and Recovery (R&R) while I was in Iraq. I became a Sergeant in three years; that was a huge accomplishment for me. I met some amazing people along my journey and I am still connected to them today. I am very proud to have served my country.
Serving my country has prepared me for what I do now by teaching me to adapt to all situations and people. I learned not to make excuses but make it happen. Execution is key in the military and it is key to me now! One of my biggest takeaways was learning how to be resourceful and how to network. I can work with anyone to get the job done.
How can the public get involved or pitch in with your initiatives?
If you would love to help with my initiatives please start by donating to Merge Memphis Clare’s House located in Memphis, TN. They always need items and resources to serve the women in their care. They house about 24-30 women at any given time. They provide them housing for 18-24 months. They have already helped so many displaced women get back on their feet. The other thing you can do is find a women’s shelter in your area and help them by donating and volunteering. If each of us did our little part in the world, then the world would be that much better.
My goal is to help as many women as I can and with your help we can do more across the globe.
Annette Tribble
What’s something you want more WOC to know about Self Awareness and Domestic Violence?
I want them to know that they are beautifully and wonderfully made and that we need to deal with any past or present trauma so that the issues don’t spill over into their future. Don’t be in denial or naive to things that are going on around you or in your life. Being self-aware is not a destination but something we must work on daily by journaling, listening to sound feedback, therapy and self- reflection. I believe in telling myself the truth whether it is good, bad or ugly. Forgive yourself, extend yourself some grace and know that you have Purpose. This is the best way to be the best version of yourself.
Domestic Violence is something no one should have to endure. God never created you to be punching bags, misused and abused but we are Royalty and should be treated as such! You do not have to accept anything from anybody. Set boundaries and don’t ignore the warning signs. Don’t stay in a situation because of potential. It doesn’t do you any good to know the potential he possesses if he doesn’t know it or act on it. Move around Sis! Don’t Settle! The last thing I want you to know is that YOU ARE ENOUGH!
What’s next for you and how can we stay connected to your news and updates?
I have authored a book called “Sister To Sister From A Broken Girl To A Healed Woman” and published a journal called “Sister To Sister Daily Journal” and both of them are on Amazon. Be sure to Grab you a copy today. I promise you will not be disappointed. You can also go to shopuniquelymade.com which is my online store. My goal is to make sure all women know that we are enough. Simply, because we are!
My goal has prompted me to go to various cities/states and speak to women about dealing with past traumas and letting them know they are worthy.A few weeks ago, I had my first “YOU ARE ENOUGH” photo shoot in Memphis, TN and this is just the beginning. I will have women’s conferences in the near future and do different events that are geared to help women be better mentally, physically and spiritually.
To connect with me please join my private group on Facebook, @Between Queenz, which is growing daily. I will always post the latest and greatest event in this group. You can also connect with other women who are willing to share, heal and grow. You can now follow me on IG @mindingtribble. I look forward to connecting with each of you. Remember Queens “YOU ARE ENOUGH”!