ArLancia Williams shares 5 Tips on How “The Alpha Female” Can Also Align with the “Soft Girl Era”

Please tell us a little bit about who you are at your core and what kind of impact you hope to have on humanity!

I am a loving, forgiving, and loyal person. I was born to be a leader. I am a soft spoken, loudly heard business woman. My accomplishments and big heart will make more noise than my mouth ever will. I genuinely care about everyone, which can be a blessing and a cursing. I love helping others achieve their goals. I eat last, I make decisions that are best for my loved ones and those around me rather than myself. I am self motivated and a loner I give without expecting anything in return. I am true to who I am, I am not afraid of failure, I am afraid of not trying. I hate losing more than I like winning. I will give you the shirt off of my back. I hope that I am paving the footsteps for others to walk in, hopefully humanity will see that you can change who you are at any time for the better without explanation. Never give up on yourself, and there is nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as you learn from them but don’t repeat them.

Whew!!! We went in heavy right there! Lol — 

Talk to us about your perspective of an “Alpha female”. What does that mean to you and what are some reflective points you can share?

The Alpha female doesn’t seek the approval of others. She is confident within herself, she has tough skin. She has taught herself how to maneuver in spaces that have been dominated by men. She is moved by her results. Today’s Alpha female is comparable to a horse in a race with blinders on, she is focused on accomplishing her goals, yet is not afraid to fall, because she knows how to get back up. 

How about the “soft girl era”? What is a “soft girl” and how does it become a sense of lifestyle?

In my opinion the soft girl embraces her femininity and doesn’t want to be mistaken for a masculine woman. She has a sense of fashion and surrounds herself with positive energy and stands out in a crowd but doesn’t need the presence of a crowd to define her. She is prideful yet not afraid to seek help when she needs it. She can be mistaken as high maintenance but to her it’s merely self care.

We love that you support a combination of the two! We are all about versatility and balance over here! — How do you suggest women and specifically WOC can incorporate a good mix into their lives?

Alpha females can be intimidating to some people because of their strong leadership skills. You just have to use discretion when and when not to be too much of either.

  1. Incorporate a little more teamwork, you don’t have to do everything by yourself. 
  2. Don’t be afraid to ask for or accept the help of others. 
  3. While using precaution try to allow others to take the lead.
  4. Give compliments to others when a job is well done. 
  5. It can be difficult for women to be taken seriously, especially in the workplace, so you have to say exactly what it is you mean and expect and stand your ground.

Where do you pull most of your insight from in life and what motivates you to share what you’ve learned with others?

I pull most of my insight from my past and challenges that I have experienced growing up, and my current state of life, personal and business. Living conditions and incidents that should have broken me has made me stronger than ever, even when I don’t want to be. I love sharing my story because I know somewhere someone needs to hear it, that they aren’t alone and if I can make it so can they. That’s what warms my heart.

If you could improve something within the WOC Community, what would it be? And why?

From what I see WOC are really taking their careers to a new level, and running their own businesses. They aren’t afraid of being heard and being in charge. I love it. They are goal oriented and taking their health more seriously. I am supportive of our WOC. They are not letting their past dictate their future but instead using that as a motivation.

But there is still colorism amongst us, and age and weight shaming. I have never seen so many of our younger WOC dressed half nude and getting plastic surgery on social media in order to get likes and they want to be famous on IG. I would like to see more of the younger WOC posting more positive things and learning how to break their generational curse instead of adding to it.

Throughout your journey, who have been some of the WOC that have inspired your walk?

Betty Rivers (Mom), Michelle Obama, Taraji P. Henson, Angela Bassett, Oprah Winfrey, Egypt Sherrod and Tina Turner.

What are some of your favorite mantras or quotes to live by or model? And what makes them significant to you?

 1. Never Judge a Book by its Cover, this happens a lot you should never judge a book by its cover, its shallow, and your blessing can be standing right infront  of you. I can remember about 3 years ago, I was looking at cars online and I saw something I wanted. So I decided to hop in the car and pay the dealer a visit. When I got there I didn’t see any clients, it was early. There were 3 sales people in their offices, so naturally I went to the lady, and she turned her head  as I approached her door. I was wearing sweats and a baseball cap, so I backed away. This guy came out and asked me if I needed help. I told him yes. I told him I wanted the car that was on the floor that wasn’t released to the public yet. He said ok did you want to go for a test drive, I said no, he said ok I said ok, I would like to get the car, her told me the price, I didn’t ask the price, I knew before I came, So while he was in financing the female came out of the office and said may I help you to a well dressed couple and they said no they were just looking! and then she came over to me and said oh I didn’t know you were waiting for help…..

                  2. You can’t please everybody and stay on top. Never take away your focus, God gave you the vision not them, Sometimes you think if you don’t please them, they don’t like you, Everyone is not going to like you and mostly just for who you are, what you think of you matters a whole lot more than what they think. 

                  3. Lanes are made for Separation, and Separation is necessary for elevation. You are going to have to make sound decisions on who is considered dead weight in your life and people that hold you back. You will have to separate yourself in order to grow. Staying around too long can be dangerous and costly.

                  4. If you are the most successful one in your circle, get a new one. While you are given the very highly appointed unpaid position to inspire others, you should  surround others that are like-minded and inspire you, so that you can constantly grow and learn.

                  5. The closer you get to the top, The lonelier you will become. My belief is that the top of a mountain can’t accommodate as many people as the bottom. My belief is that sometimes your peers do just enough to stay where they are, but those of us that do alot more get a lot more in return. Sometimes your success can make others focus on their own life and they become resentful of your success, and their priorities aren’t on the same level with your  priorities. Your life experiences are no longer relatable to theirs, and they will soon say things like, “I want to be like you when I grow up, or you bigtime now huh, or nah I’m not into money, or why you get that car I just need a car to get me from a to z” Some people will try to make you feel guilty for wanting and doing more.

Of all lessons learned in life, which one pops into your head first? What advice on that subject can you pass on to the next woman?

You can’t please everyone! I have a big heart so naturally I try to please everyone, seeing my family and friends happy makes me happy, however trying to please everyone becomes exhausting, overwhelming and unsuccessful. Master the art of saying no sometimes, that is something that I have struggled with, I wanted to be liked and loved by all. I finally realized that some people aren’t happy with themselves and no matter what you do, you are wasting your time. Some people’s assignment is to make you miserable.

Learning early on, how to read people, and stay away from those that drain you and take but never pour in, will enable you to avoid stress in the long run.

ArLancia Williams

Is there anything you have coming up that you would like to share with our readers? How can we stay connected with your updates?

I am the creator and executive producer for a Real Estate Reality show that is currently being negotiated. I am executive producer of a series that will be pitched soon (fingers crossed with that). I have written my very first movie, that I can’t go too deep with, but I can tell you that I am extremely excited about that one, I feel that that will be one of my biggest creations. I also have a book that is being published, that’s something new for me as well, this will be my very first publication, so I am definitely looking forward to that. I recently started my very own podcast, “Let’s TalkReal Estate with ArLancia ”. I will be having workshops to educate women on investing and creating generational wealth. You can stay connected with me on instagram @podcast_with_arlancia, @arlanciawilliams_mogul, @flip_queen_reality_show, @platinum_trust_realty. Please subscribe to my youtube channel to see my podcast and much much more